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In the Mind of a Delusional Psychopath [entries|friends|calendar]
Shoot Me Up

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[21 Sep 2004|03:45am]
i gott stop being so fucking ignorant towards my self, think before i act. its turning people against me agh! oh well
Shoot Me Up

jumpin the tracks into the darkness beyond [20 Sep 2004|11:16pm]
weel here it goes, i donrt have any reason to live, but every reason to die, i dont want to hurt anyone any more, i never had a job, i never tried to get one, im lazy, thats why i lie, so im gonna take the easy way out again, suicide. if you dont believe me, which none of you should, look in the obituaries, or ask around, some one will have heard about a jumper at dundas west station. good bye world, i hope your better off without me. AND most importantly, im sorry for beingthe opposite of what you all thought, im really just a low life.
Shoot Me Up

[06 Sep 2004|04:22pm]
i need help, i have a confession, when your ready to talk CALMLY ill talk, im ready, but i need help, your help, please
Shoot Me Up

[23 Jul 2004|07:26pm]
[ mood | scared ]

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the worst of them all? You are!

evrytime the answer is the same, its a reoccuring dream. the face always differs, but its always someone important to me............ i wonder what it means?

Ive never told any one about it, but its so real i cant forget.

Recently its been my mom then sarah and then john, the past three nights anyways...

my dad is the only person who hasd showed up more than once..... so far...... i dont get it

the sacry thing is that it has started happening when im awake, about the time my mom walked out on john
but when im awake its only my self.... and its so loud i keep thinking that it was me saying it, but nobody ever hears it... even if they are standing right beside me... something is wrong

i didnt want to write this... but talking about it would be harder....

it needed to come out................

im frightened.......

Shoot Me Up

[23 Jul 2004|07:26pm]
i fucked up again, dont know how it keeps happening............ but it does!
Shoot Me Up

[20 Jul 2004|07:05am]
I HOPE ITS NOT TRUE theres tears in my eyes for real, i hate my self

which one of your LJ friends loves you
LJ Username
enough to be friends cravingcontrol
hates you to death deadvoodoodoll
has a crush deadvoodoodoll
loves you SO much cravingcontrol
dreams of haveing sex with you gurgg
wants to marry you gurgg
This QuickKwiz by someone_lover - Taken 18312 Times.
New - COOL Dating Tips and Romance Advice!

SARAH............ this is scary, i mean it!
5 surreal dream Shoot Me Up

[20 Jul 2004|06:08am]
[ mood | enthralled ]

YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!

What the deuce?
You are the baby of the Griffin's family, Stewie.
You're an unusual baby in that you have
developed the abilities to speak, read and
think intelligently very fast. According to you
the whole World is against you, especially your
mother, Lois. You are continually trying to
kill her, yet all your attempts have failed so
far. Although the family can understand you,
they ignore your aggressive comments putting
them down as silly baby talk. Your only friend
is your gay teddy bear, Rupert. You yourself
have shown homosexual tendencies. Dont you feel

Which Family Guy character would you most likely be?
brought to you by Quizilla

Shoot Me Up

[20 Jul 2004|06:08am]
[ mood | indifferent ]

who knew?

You are STRAIGHT AS AN ARROW. You like members of
the opposite sex. Lots of em.

The 100% Scientific Sexual Quiz! (With Pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Shoot Me Up

[20 Jul 2004|06:08am]
your fuckin crazy....you need some medical
attention NOW!!!im not joking your gonna be one
of the people you see on the news for being a
serial killer or a rapist or somthing like that

brought to you by Quizilla

Shoot Me Up

[20 Jul 2004|06:08am]
[ mood | lauging ]

Your soul is DARK. You aren't too happy with your
life, though you may feel you should be. You're
probably solitary, pessimistic, brooding,
possibly nocturnal, but mostly a general
unknown. You might have a hidden liking for
pain and destruction, but you're probably more
masochistic that sadistic if that's true. (look
it up if you don't know what they mean!) Those
that think they know you tend to place you
closer to evil on a scale of good and evil,
which might not be true. What people see may
not be who you actually are. Some people fear
you and others mock you. What isn't really
known, though, is that you're not pure evil.
You're just a mysterious, misunderstood - and
sadly, forsaken - soul.

What Is Your Soul's Trait?
brought to you by Quizilla

Shoot Me Up

[20 Jul 2004|06:08am]
img src="http://images.quizilla.com/M/m3rCuRy/1081106128_arscocaine.jpg" border="0" alt="cocaine">
You're addicted to.....

I pity you, Cocaine isnt a good thing to be
addicted to. One of the more expensive drugs
out there and not to mention those damn
nosebleeds. Get help now!

What are you addicted to? (pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla
Shoot Me Up

[20 Jul 2004|06:08am]
[ mood | confused ]


Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

meh what do you know

Shoot Me Up

[20 Jul 2004|06:08am]
Aryan Bear
Aryan Bear

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Shoot Me Up

[20 Jul 2004|06:08am]
You are Anita Blake. You don't like to be pushed
around, and threats to you are promptly
responded with death. You tend to wear more
cutlery than clothes, and that might creep some
people out, but you don't care.

Which Anita Blake Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Shoot Me Up

[20 Jul 2004|01:35am]
[ mood | depressed ]

athurs a dick, my mom hates me, the rest of the world does too, not to much of a surprise, i hate my self so i guess thats just about everybody, at least i know one person thinks im worth something, i hope i can prove her right, i wish i didnt exist........

have pot but wont smoke it, its not mine AGH! whatever hopefully i can grab some E early tomorrow.....

im shit! im not good enough for anybody......... you all know its true

Shoot Me Up

[20 Jul 2004|01:35am]
[ mood | amused ]


[12:55:22 PM] >>†MRX†<< -M: what u said last night
[12:55:25 PM] >>†MRX†<< -M: u know im not forgiving u
[12:55:31 PM] >>†MRX†<< -M: go fuck urself
[12:55:36 PM] .xXx.DannyBo: i dont expect you to
[12:56:09 PM] .xXx.DannyBo: why should i care i forgave you for all
the times you ditched me, all the times youve lied so go
fuck your self
[12:57:27 PM] >>†MRX†<< -M: goood now i dont wanna see ur fucking face
ever again
[12:58:04 PM] .xXx.DannyBo: lol or what
[12:58:10 PM] .xXx.DannyBo: im not afraid of you
[12:58:17 PM] >>†MRX†<< -M: im scared of u eather
[12:58:30 PM] >>†MRX†<< -M: n why u still talking to me
[12:58:35 PM] .xXx.DannyBo: never said you were
[12:58:45 PM] .xXx.DannyBo: you started talking to me
[12:58:47 PM] >>†MRX†<< -M: shouldnt u get the point in ur head
[12:59:20 PM] .xXx.DannyBo: lol i do get it, because i actually have a
[12:59:32 PM] >>†MRX†<< -M: LMAO
[01:00:18 PM] .xXx.DannyBo: i thought you said you arent gonna say
[01:00:24 PM] .xXx.DannyBo: another lie i suppose

yeah pretty funny , eh?

Shoot Me Up

[15 Jul 2004|10:23pm]
[ mood | scared ]

what a night last night, i hate my self, my girlfriend is being taken away.................... i think......... and if that happens i dont know what im gonna do.............. i know its not my fault but it feels like it is........ i hate my self.... shes the only thing i got........ im scared, i mean im filled with fear...... and im not afraid of anything...... I Love You Sarah, remeber that...... no matter what happens........... I wish i could just dissapear...... like i never even existed

But i gotta be strong, strong for her, strong for me, strong for us...... but i feel it fading, her face is the only thing that makes me really smile at this point in my life........... i dont want to lose her, i cant lose her, or i might just lose myself...... i know what your thinking, "thats crazy, you cant put that much pressure on someone" i know..... i know that, but she knows why...... and i trust her love for me.....

i just hope she trusts my love for her..............

2 surreal dream Shoot Me Up

[12 Jul 2004|03:22am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

i wanna write bad, but i got a case of writers block........ must be from lack of drugs, sleep and food.......

i want jib, and a rig, so i can set my veins ablaze with the meth fire.... heroin would be nice too..........

but seeing that im a broke-ass lazy worthless piece of shit....... drugs are out of the picture

so im content with my razorblade, and my morbid thoughts........ i wish the world would bleed to death....


Shoot Me Up

[03 Jul 2004|08:36pm]
[ mood | restless ]

still bored, im sober as fuck, I HATE IT! whatever...... so anyways, Sarahs friends Tasha and Amanda came by, which is cool, I think she needs time with her friends.................

Did some NICE! pills last night, Double Stacked Green Smiley's....... potent, clean, pure and what a rush.... hope to more of them soon.......

Thinkin about goin to Algonquin Park..... Sarah and I are going for sure, our friend Andrew might come..... we need to find atleast one more person to go.....

Went on a crazy mission last night to grab.... starting at Dundas West.... basicly went all over the city (in a car, thankfuly) and ended up having to go BACK to Dundas West to grab....................? confusing............

I'm starting to withdraw........


I want some fuckin Heroin..................

Pantera fuckin rules! The music soothes my mind...... like an expression of what i encounter in the dream world....... its so....................surreal, my rage melts away like...... like......... like hallucinating monkeybrains melting away in the clouds on acid.........................

Speaking of LSD, I WANT, I WANT, I WANT!!!!!!! to bad there aint no good acid in Toronto...........

Throwin on some Jungle now..... feel like it I guess.... I'm down.................... lower then low.............. but I'll survive.....

So anyways, I'm supposed to go downtown to grab K..... or something...... this is goin to be BORING!..... til I get back with the K that is...... Gonna K-Hole tonight cant wait........

I want to smoke a fat one, weed would be good right now....... real good, maybe then i could deal with people....................

Sketchy.......... in pain........... Goin to grab K now..............


Shoot Me Up

[03 Jul 2004|08:36pm]
The Apes of Wrath The Apes of Wrath! The Apes of Wrath! The Apes of Wrath! Flecked with gore I face you My hide is writhing with worms I come from the place where the Flesh Sculptors pile Wretched creations born of blood and bile The creatures that lived here And now held in our thrall The mayor and his cronies Have been nailed to the wall This pattern of violence It hinges on fate The seal of your coffin You found out to late The Apes of Wrath! The Apes of Wrath! The Apes of Wrath! I am the ruler The mutilator of dreams All life falls apart at the seams The creatures that lived here And now held in our thrall The mayor and his cronies Have been nailed to the wall This pattern of violence Hinges on fate The seal of your coffin, you Found out to late The Apes of Wrath! The Apes of Wrath! The Apes of Wrath! Prepare yourselves for violence A spinning, flailing mass Tips are jocked, jaws are clocked, we sit back and laugh Spitting bloody chicklets, veins are bulging from their throat The blood fills a moat You must fight with boats Trying to express your rage You must use your fists Personality dissolves in a In a red and raging mist The Apes of Wrath! The Apes of Wrath! The Apes of Wrath! The Apes of Wrath! The Apes of Wrath! The Apes of Wrath! The Apes of Wrath! The Apes of Wrath! I am the ruler Mutilator of dreams Truth be told, I enjoy the role Illicitor of screams
Shoot Me Up

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